After 12 years and more medical visits than I care to count, I don't have a new normal. I don't know if I will ever have a new normal. (I think that is just a pile of crap - saying that you get to a new normal and 'tada' its over, you are done. A nurse said to me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer that it would be a year of my life to get through treatment and then I could move on.) Sorry, it didn't work that way.
12 years out from a breast cancer diagnosis I now have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, a bad back (degenerating disks, dessicated disks, and a bone spur in my neck), two bad knees, cancer twice before 50, had my gall bladder out for gallstones, and a hysterectomy before breast cancer because of fibroids, and more.
I can't do much for fun these days because I end up paying the price - whether its 30 minutes of gardening followed by a two hour nap or a trip to the gym followed by off my feet for the rest of the day. A day at the beach is usually followed by a day in bed. I over plan my life to allow for rests and naps.
I used to be fairly shy about talking about bodily functions but with all this medical crap going on I think I can ramble on about a lot of different things simultaneously - there is not much that is too icky to discuss at this point.
Because of my medical history (do I hate that term or what?) I am not eligible for things like life insurance, clinical trials, newer biologic treatments, surgeries which might help me in the shorter term, etc.
So where does this leave me? I think I have the equivalent knowledge of a medical degree in some areas because I live with all of it. I prioritize my health first at all times. I can be very whiney when forced to do more than I am able. When I say 'no' I really mean 'no'. I only selectively listen to my doctors because they all contradict one another or tell me to ask a different specialist about something they can't answer.
And most importantly my emotional health is just as important as my physical health - that really took me a long time.
With my stellar health under my arm, I go from one medical misadventure to the next and drag along all my baggage. But I'm still here, between naps.
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Friday, May 24, 2019
Hypochondria, Paranoia, or Normalcy
In recent months I have wanted to be more proactive in taking care of my health. Unfortunately this has meant that I have more doctor appointments. One of the doctors I chose to see is an allergist.
Back when I was a teenager, my pediatrician told me I was allergic to Penicillins. I didn't give it much thought at the time. A few decades later I was put on Amoxicillin for a dental infection. I ended up with a full body rash and hives (while on a business trip in Europe) so I stopped taking it. I put penicillins on my medical record as an allergy.
Over the years, I have added more meds to the list. At my first chemo infusion, I reacted to the benadryl they gave me and was told to never take it again. Other meds have been added. But sometimes my doctors would ask me about them and question whether they were a true allergy or not.
In the past decade, I have found that sometimes while outside my nose starts running like a faucet. This annoys me to no end. So I decided I need to find out what I am allergic to and then figure out what I can take so that I can end the runny nose businesss. Yesterday I went to the allergist.
One of the things they first told me is that over time your body changes and what you might have been allergic to once you no longer are. They started by testing me for penicillins. While I didn't have a real allergic reaction I did feel my skin crawl and felt pretty crappy during the testing. We have no idea why that happened. But at the end of the day the allergist told me that she was taking penicillins off my list of allergies.
I will go back in a few months and get tested for environmental allergens and see if I am really still allergic to Benadryl.
In the meantime I wonder if my obsession with allergies is really hypochondria, paranoia or just my supposed 'new normal'.
Back when I was a teenager, my pediatrician told me I was allergic to Penicillins. I didn't give it much thought at the time. A few decades later I was put on Amoxicillin for a dental infection. I ended up with a full body rash and hives (while on a business trip in Europe) so I stopped taking it. I put penicillins on my medical record as an allergy.
Over the years, I have added more meds to the list. At my first chemo infusion, I reacted to the benadryl they gave me and was told to never take it again. Other meds have been added. But sometimes my doctors would ask me about them and question whether they were a true allergy or not.
In the past decade, I have found that sometimes while outside my nose starts running like a faucet. This annoys me to no end. So I decided I need to find out what I am allergic to and then figure out what I can take so that I can end the runny nose businesss. Yesterday I went to the allergist.
One of the things they first told me is that over time your body changes and what you might have been allergic to once you no longer are. They started by testing me for penicillins. While I didn't have a real allergic reaction I did feel my skin crawl and felt pretty crappy during the testing. We have no idea why that happened. But at the end of the day the allergist told me that she was taking penicillins off my list of allergies.
I will go back in a few months and get tested for environmental allergens and see if I am really still allergic to Benadryl.
In the meantime I wonder if my obsession with allergies is really hypochondria, paranoia or just my supposed 'new normal'.
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