Planning Through My Life

My life is very structured. I never just drop anything and go do something else. Why? Because I have everything planned. There is only so much I can do in a day - which is about a tenth of what a normal person can do.

In the big picture, I go to the gym three days a week. The gym is near the hospital which contains my doctors. All doctor appointments are scheduled on gym days. The gym is also near my hair dresser and manicurist. Again, those appointments are scheduled on gym days. And no gym day can contain more than one thing plus the gym because I can't.

On the days I don't go to the gym, I do things that go in directions that are not near the gym. Again, I only do two things in one day. Thursdays I go to my knitting group and then I might do one other thing.

My husband claims I should only do one thing each day. Personally I think I can do two things. And it depends on how you count things. Somethings don't count. If I go to the gym and then stop at the library for ten minutes, I call that one thing. I left the house and came back once. Will I go back out again? Maybe, maybe not. But I probably will cook dinner too. That's my second thing. Some days I am too tired to cook dinner.

I plan what I want to do. Some days I can't even do what is planned. Those days I rest so I can pretend I will move my plans until the next day. Sometimes my plans go up in smoke and never happen. On the 'up' side, I get to watch my fair share of 'quality' TV on Lifetime, HGTV, Food Network, Animal Planet, and more.

As my health has tanked, my spontaneity has evaporated. So I plan and pretend I am doing everything I want in life. But we all know that is not the case.

A Pain In My Neck

In addition to all my ailments, my body likes to fall apart on me. Since the late 1980s, I have had problems with the ulnar tunnel (not carpal tunnel) in my right arm. I have to adapt to cope with it where I can't lean on it, sleep with my arm straight etc. And I have had tennis elbow twice which is a different problem but really just an aggravation.

My right elbow and hand have been bothering me recently - pain and tingling - and I have been stretching for the past few months and it hasn't helped much. I have had to cut back on the weights and exercises at the gym and spoke to the physical therapists there but it has been an increasing problem for me.

So when I was at my rheumatologist a few weeks ago, I mentioned to her that it had been acting up and she referred me to a hand surgeon to get an injection to help with the pain. When I saw her yesterday she told me:

• They don't do injections for elbow pain like mine anymore because it only seems to mask the pain.
• The pain in my elbow is the result of microtears in the tendon and I need to rest it, continue to modify my behaviors, use a wrist splint, get a special strap thingy, ice it, and be patient as it can take 2 months to 2 years to recover. (I have to talk to the physical therapist at the gym.) 
• The tingling in my hand is not related to my elbow issues. Its coming from my neck. Which is where I have a bone spur. I already had PT for this two years ago. This is a real pain in my neck. The doctor's advice is to wait and see if it resolves itself. 

Where is the good resolution I expected from my appointment yesterday? No where. It didn't happen. This is not unusual for me. I have to learn not to expect the magic wand of medical cures for me at any time.

Honestly, I think my body just likes getting revenge for all the years of torment I put it through - ice skating, skiing, hiking, roller blading, bike riding, etc. I had a lot of fun but I might have over done things from time to time.