Sometimes I Ignore My Health Issues

I just spent a few days ignoring my health issues. I had a lot of fun. I know am recovering. I didn't do anything stupid - like drive a long distance, climb a mountain, or even go to the mall. I only drove probably less than 1 mile (looking for coffee one morning). I walked around a small city.

Okay, what I did do:

• I walked 10,000 steps one day.
• I rode on a boat.
• I rode on a bus tour (to breweries) which means I drank beer during the day time.
• I walked on the beach four days in a row - some days for as much as an hour at a time (I'm addicted to beach walking).
• I went out for two meals a day - which means I didn't eat the best. 

I am exhausted as a result. I will spend today mostly in bed so I can rest. Every day I probably did too much every day. We overslept on the one day we needed to get up in time to catch the bus because I was so tired.

Being mature, I am also ignoring all current potential medical issues because I just don't feel like dealing with them - that is my biggest coping tactic. In this case, ignorance is bliss.

Recovering

Today is Monday. On Saturday, I probably know I did too much. Sunday I was tired and lay down for two hours in the afternoon. Last night I slept for 12 hours. I will attempt to pretend to be normal today but who knows how I will feel.

One of the many wondrous things about me and my health is that even if I do something bad (meaning over doing things) one day, it doesn't mean I can recover in one day. Its often a couple of days to recover.

I have plans for today and hope to make it through them. Especially since my 88 year old mother will be with us and I should think I have more energy than her. Life isn't fair sometimes.

Beware the Horoscope

I don't usually believe my horoscope. I don't read it very much either. Sometimes I take a glance at it as I go through the paper. But today's horoscope I saw and read it and am concerned:

"You could feel out of sorts. Generally, the month before your birthday you might feel a little down. Often people look at their past year and wonder whether their next year could be as meaningful or better. Today's eclipse could cause fatigue. Tonight: Know when to say "no.""

And I am concerned: 'Today's eclipse could cause fatigue.'

Yesterday I was so tired I skipped my knitting group and didn't leave the house really. I took a nap too. If I am more tired tonight than I was last night I could be in trouble here. 

I think I need to stop reading my horoscope because I could get fatigued.

Weather and Illnesses

Back when I first injured my knee in 2001 (a great day of skiing gone bad) my father said to me 'now you will have a knee to help you tell the weather'. I'm not sure that's true but I can really feel weather changes.

Cold is very cold to me. I have Raynaud's (as a joyous addition to anything else) where my fingers and toes will turn white down to the second joint when they get cold. The only way to get them warm again is to put them in warm water. I can't tolerate cold on my hands. In the winter, when I used to drive home from work on cold days, my fingers would get so cold I would tuck one hand under my leg to try to warm them up - which wouldn't work - even if I was wearing heavy mittens.

I used to be a winter person. I would go out and play in the snow - ski, snow shoe, or just walk in the snow - but now I get to watch the snow fall through the window. I am more stiff and sore than usual in winter. But I can use my heating pad and electric blanket to keep me warm.

That's just one issue.

I like it when its warm out but not when its hot. If it gets too hot and humid, I need to seek refuge in air conditioning. In the awful heat and humidity (over a week of over 90 with high humidity), I was exhausted every day. In addition to amplifying pain, fibromyalgia hates heat. It will flare up. I finally got a good night's sleep after a week of exhaustion - more than usual.

I live in New England where the weather is different every second it seems. Its not necessarily a good climate for me. But I'm here and I will cope... And take advantage of the modern conveniences of AC and heat.

One Of My Many Ailments: Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia is so much fun. I have to say its a joy to have. It makes you sweat all the time when your aren't exercising so you look like you just ran a marathon when all you did was sit on your sofa. Pain and confusion abound. And everyone reacts differently. As I said, its a joy. You get treated for pain and depression.... But there is no cure for it.

"Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Note those words: 'amplifies painful sensations'. This is key to the 'joy' in fibro.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.
I went through breast cancer so maybe that's my trauma - or 'significant psychological stress'.

Women are more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.

Or did fibromyalgia give me anxiety and depression - or can I blame that on my breast cancer too?

While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help.

Yes, I exercise. But I can only exercise every other day because I have to recover from the exercise of what I have done. Stress-reduction measures for me are reading, watching bad tv, knitting, and weaving.

Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:

• Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
• Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
• Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as "fibro fog" impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.

So do I have 'chemobrain' or 'fibro fog' or both? And if both, how can I form a coherent thought at all? And apnea? Got that too but I can't sleep with an f*%^$#ing mask on my face.

Fibromyalgia often co-exists with other painful conditions, such as:

• Irritable bowel syndrome
• Migraine and other types of headaches
• Interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome
• Temporomandibular joint disorders

Or maybe it can coexist with rheumatoid arthritis? 

Causes: Doctors don't know what causes fibromyalgia, but it most likely involves a variety of factors working together. These may include:

• Genetics. Because fibromyalgia tends to run in families, there may be certain genetic mutations that may make you more susceptible to developing the disorder.
• Infections. Some illnesses appear to trigger or aggravate fibromyalgia.
• Physical or emotional trauma. Fibromyalgia can sometimes be triggered by a physical trauma, such as a car accident. Psychological stress may also trigger the condition.

So they don't know the cause or have a cure. Nice!

Why does it hurt?; Researchers believe repeated nerve stimulation causes the brains of people with fibromyalgia to change. This change involves an abnormal increase in levels of certain chemicals in the brain that signal pain (neurotransmitters). In addition, the brain's pain receptors seem to develop a sort of memory of the pain and become more sensitive, meaning they can overreact to pain signals.

Nerves overreact to pain. How wonderful. So basically the pain is magnified.

Risk factors for fibromyalgia include: 

• Your sex. Fibromyalgia is diagnosed more often in women than in men. 
• Family history. You may be more likely to develop fibromyalgia if a relative also has the condition. 
• Other disorders. If you have osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis or lupus, you may be more likely to develop fibromyalgia.

So I have RA, and was diagnosed with both at the same time. So its a case of the chicken and the egg - which came first? We have no way of knowing. I also have no way of knowing which ailment is causing which pain.

Complications: The pain and lack of sleep associated with fibromyalgia can interfere with your ability to function at home or on the job. The frustration of dealing with an often-misunderstood condition also can result in depression and health-related anxiety."*

Yep. Got that ' depression and health-related anxiety'. But did they come from having cancer twice and the fear of a recurrence or as part of my RA and fibro medical crap? Or did I get a double dose because of all my ailments. 

I don't know. I just wanted to tell readers more about one of my many ailments. I will get through the other ones over time I'm sure.  Because they are what makes up with my 'chronic illness life'.

*From Mayo Clinic

Bedtime

I was never the child who wanted to stay up late (unless is was the annual Miss America Pageant - don't ask, we thought it was awesome). I was happy to go home and go to bed by 9 o'clock. In college, I would stay up late, but would nap often. Also, I was so busy studying (beer) that I would not notice how late it got. Maybe I was sleep deprived for four years.

When I met my husband, I was very concerned about his sleep habits, among other things. If I married someone who wanted to stay up until midnight every night, it would not be a good relationship. I happily discovered that he is an early to bed person as well.

Now, as my body has continued to fall apart, I have problems staying up until 9pm... I used to try to stay up until sundown.... But that doesn't work.

RA causes fatigue. Fibromyalgia causes fatigue. Pain causes fatigue. Fatigue causes fatigue. Last night I was in bed at 730pm and didn't wake up until 6am. That was a whopping 10.5 hours of sleep. I needed it.

Tonight my bedtime will be around 830 probably.... but I will not put money on that.

At Least I Know Why I Am So Tired Today

I was exhausted when I got home yesterday. I had to lie down for a couple hours and then we got Chinese food delivered so I didn't have to cook. But I know why I was so tired.

Yesterday I had to go three banks and take care of some paperwork for my father's estate. I ended up standing for a total of about 1.25 hours. That was a very bad thing to do. I should never stand for any length of time. I will make it to the gym today but definitely will take it easy. And plan a few hours lying down to recover.

One of my big weaknesses is my inability to stand for any length of time. It makes my back hurt, and the pain can be exhausting. When I go to the gym and have arm exercises to do, I often walk in circles so that I am not standing. If I walk its better. This means sometimes I can actually go for a walk - like a walk on the beach.... occasionally, and then I have to rest for a couple days but I find walking on the beach can do wonderful things for me emotionally so I find its worth it.

But that standing thing is bad. I have to stop doing that.