In Pain

I was having a good day. But not any more. I mean I did have a good day. I did a bunch of things I wanted to do. I took it easy. I warped my loom. I did some knitting. I went on a couple of errands. We had dinner. This is bad.

In addition to my 'chronic' ailments I have a bad back. I mean a really bad back. It started with degenerating disks in my lower back (L4-5, L6-7 or something like that) and then I found out I had a bone spur in my neck (C4 I think?). Finally, I have desiccated disks at bra strap height - whatever that is in medical terms but its T something.

I usually do okay because of all my meds. But today it is bad. I went out and did some weeding and called Boots (the good cat). I came in without Boots and ZDpot (the bad cat) tried to run out. I grabbed him. And it was bad. I couldn't sit up long enough to watch Jeopardy.

My doctor told me no ice on my back. But its summer and I really don't want a heating pad. And it all hurts. And really sucks. (Consider me honest). I'm not sure I can sleep tonight (alcohol isn't helping either).

If anyone has advice, I would appreciate it. I am open for suggestions. I have a really good pain management team. I can get an appointment to see them. But that is not a long term solution - go to the dr, get an appointment for some nasty injections in my back, and then feel better for a while. I would prefer to be healthy for a while ever.

Okay, I'm cranky. I am in a lot of pain. I can barely turn my neck to the right - which is the direction to the TV in the bedroom. I had to go to months of PT a couple of years ago for my neck.

Honestly, I want a magic wand to wave over me and make everything stop hurting for good. But I am whining.

One Of My Many Ailments: Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia is so much fun. I have to say its a joy to have. It makes you sweat all the time when your aren't exercising so you look like you just ran a marathon when all you did was sit on your sofa. Pain and confusion abound. And everyone reacts differently. As I said, its a joy. You get treated for pain and depression.... But there is no cure for it.

"Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Note those words: 'amplifies painful sensations'. This is key to the 'joy' in fibro.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.
I went through breast cancer so maybe that's my trauma - or 'significant psychological stress'.

Women are more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.

Or did fibromyalgia give me anxiety and depression - or can I blame that on my breast cancer too?

While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help.

Yes, I exercise. But I can only exercise every other day because I have to recover from the exercise of what I have done. Stress-reduction measures for me are reading, watching bad tv, knitting, and weaving.

Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:

• Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
• Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
• Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as "fibro fog" impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.

So do I have 'chemobrain' or 'fibro fog' or both? And if both, how can I form a coherent thought at all? And apnea? Got that too but I can't sleep with an f*%^$#ing mask on my face.

Fibromyalgia often co-exists with other painful conditions, such as:

• Irritable bowel syndrome
• Migraine and other types of headaches
• Interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome
• Temporomandibular joint disorders

Or maybe it can coexist with rheumatoid arthritis? 

Causes: Doctors don't know what causes fibromyalgia, but it most likely involves a variety of factors working together. These may include:

• Genetics. Because fibromyalgia tends to run in families, there may be certain genetic mutations that may make you more susceptible to developing the disorder.
• Infections. Some illnesses appear to trigger or aggravate fibromyalgia.
• Physical or emotional trauma. Fibromyalgia can sometimes be triggered by a physical trauma, such as a car accident. Psychological stress may also trigger the condition.

So they don't know the cause or have a cure. Nice!

Why does it hurt?; Researchers believe repeated nerve stimulation causes the brains of people with fibromyalgia to change. This change involves an abnormal increase in levels of certain chemicals in the brain that signal pain (neurotransmitters). In addition, the brain's pain receptors seem to develop a sort of memory of the pain and become more sensitive, meaning they can overreact to pain signals.

Nerves overreact to pain. How wonderful. So basically the pain is magnified.

Risk factors for fibromyalgia include: 

• Your sex. Fibromyalgia is diagnosed more often in women than in men. 
• Family history. You may be more likely to develop fibromyalgia if a relative also has the condition. 
• Other disorders. If you have osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis or lupus, you may be more likely to develop fibromyalgia.

So I have RA, and was diagnosed with both at the same time. So its a case of the chicken and the egg - which came first? We have no way of knowing. I also have no way of knowing which ailment is causing which pain.

Complications: The pain and lack of sleep associated with fibromyalgia can interfere with your ability to function at home or on the job. The frustration of dealing with an often-misunderstood condition also can result in depression and health-related anxiety."*

Yep. Got that ' depression and health-related anxiety'. But did they come from having cancer twice and the fear of a recurrence or as part of my RA and fibro medical crap? Or did I get a double dose because of all my ailments. 

I don't know. I just wanted to tell readers more about one of my many ailments. I will get through the other ones over time I'm sure.  Because they are what makes up with my 'chronic illness life'.

*From Mayo Clinic

A Pain In My Neck

In addition to all my ailments, my body likes to fall apart on me. Since the late 1980s, I have had problems with the ulnar tunnel (not carpal tunnel) in my right arm. I have to adapt to cope with it where I can't lean on it, sleep with my arm straight etc. And I have had tennis elbow twice which is a different problem but really just an aggravation.

My right elbow and hand have been bothering me recently - pain and tingling - and I have been stretching for the past few months and it hasn't helped much. I have had to cut back on the weights and exercises at the gym and spoke to the physical therapists there but it has been an increasing problem for me.

So when I was at my rheumatologist a few weeks ago, I mentioned to her that it had been acting up and she referred me to a hand surgeon to get an injection to help with the pain. When I saw her yesterday she told me:

• They don't do injections for elbow pain like mine anymore because it only seems to mask the pain.
• The pain in my elbow is the result of microtears in the tendon and I need to rest it, continue to modify my behaviors, use a wrist splint, get a special strap thingy, ice it, and be patient as it can take 2 months to 2 years to recover. (I have to talk to the physical therapist at the gym.) 
• The tingling in my hand is not related to my elbow issues. Its coming from my neck. Which is where I have a bone spur. I already had PT for this two years ago. This is a real pain in my neck. The doctor's advice is to wait and see if it resolves itself. 

Where is the good resolution I expected from my appointment yesterday? No where. It didn't happen. This is not unusual for me. I have to learn not to expect the magic wand of medical cures for me at any time.

Honestly, I think my body just likes getting revenge for all the years of torment I put it through - ice skating, skiing, hiking, roller blading, bike riding, etc. I had a lot of fun but I might have over done things from time to time. 

At Least I Know Why I Am So Tired Today

I was exhausted when I got home yesterday. I had to lie down for a couple hours and then we got Chinese food delivered so I didn't have to cook. But I know why I was so tired.

Yesterday I had to go three banks and take care of some paperwork for my father's estate. I ended up standing for a total of about 1.25 hours. That was a very bad thing to do. I should never stand for any length of time. I will make it to the gym today but definitely will take it easy. And plan a few hours lying down to recover.

One of my big weaknesses is my inability to stand for any length of time. It makes my back hurt, and the pain can be exhausting. When I go to the gym and have arm exercises to do, I often walk in circles so that I am not standing. If I walk its better. This means sometimes I can actually go for a walk - like a walk on the beach.... occasionally, and then I have to rest for a couple days but I find walking on the beach can do wonderful things for me emotionally so I find its worth it.

But that standing thing is bad. I have to stop doing that.