It Might Have Been A Mistake

My husband and I got a brilliant idea - let's go have fun. I mean why not? People should have fun regularly - its good to do things you like to or new things with someone you like to spend time with. But I am not a 'normal' person. I might have a few 'medical conditions' that require treatment and constant medication to keep me stable.

However, I wanted to go have fun. My husband agreed. Last week I was doing some planning and thought we need to do more fun things. I found some local festivals that sounded good. Now festivals are not the best thing for people who can't stand around, wait in line, or over do things. But sometimes I need to push myself a little bit to get out of my deep ruts of sheer laziness.

My husband has always talked about going to see a Celtic festival or Scottish Highland Games. There are a couple of those around. But the big one is expensive, hotel rooms sell out a year a head and just sound too much for us.

But then I found a smaller festival in its 20th year - Quechee Games - Scottish Festival and Competition. The only catch is it is more than two hours away and only goes from 9am - 4pm. We said there was no way we are getting up on and out of the house by 7am on a Saturday morning so we went up the night before (last night), stopping for dinner on the way. We got to our hotel just after 9pm and went to bed.

This morning we got up, had breakfast and got to the festival as it opened. We set up our chairs and watch the competitions - the things we had never seen before. eventually we moved and stood and watched the parade of clans, piping bands, and some highland dancers. My husband stood in the long line and got the food while I stood in the short line and got the beverages ( a good ideal I think).

After we ate, we watched more competition - caber tossing anyone? I am sure I can't toss a telephone pole around at all and these competitors showed it is much harder than it looks.

Our plan was to stay until 4 when it ended. However after lunch, about 130, I started to fade. I told myself I wouldn't think about leaving until 230 so we could watch more of the competitions. I could have fallen asleep in my chair. I was that tired. We left close to 3.

While I greatly appreciated the opportunity to have some fun, do something different, and spend quality time with my husband. I was exhausted. I have been in bed since we got home. My big ambition was to order pizza delivery since we were home.

It might have been a mistake but I really appreciated doing something new.  We don't get to do that very much any more. I may regret it tomorrow..... But I think the benefits of going out and doing something new and different outweighed the potential downside. Even if it costs me a couple days in bed.

Post vacation

My life has its ups and downs. I went on vacation for two weeks and paid the price after. I had a whole bunch of doctor appointments and took my mother to her doctor apointments as well. I also did a million loads of laundry, unpacked, cleaned out two weeks worth of weeds in the garden, and ran out of oomph several times.

Between this week and last week, there have been at least three times where I just had to physically collapse and lie down for a couple of hours because I was that tired.

A vacation is restful right? Well sort of. I did more than I should several days by doing things I enjoyed. Every day I took advantage of my mother taking a nap to lie down for a while myself. I also avoided the stairs and stayed downstairs as much as possible. But did over do things many times.

So to complicate our return, not only did I have to recover from a fun but energetic vacation, I had to take care of everything else. I am tired. I will be in post vacation recovery mode for a few more days. This means I will spend a good amount of time lying down, reading books or knitting. Any good books out there?

Klutziness

Is being klutzy a chronic disease? I mean its never going away and severely complicates my life sometimes. Granted I can be considered a little 'fragile' or something, but adding klutziness (and forgetfulness - but that's a story for another day) can really complicate things.

I have never been the most coordinated at many things. I have been known to walk into a wall, miss a doorway, or miss things all together. Its been a lifelong condition. And my health issues don't add to it.

I have had several 'klutzy' episodes recently. I fell on my knee a few weeks ago (still healing and multiple doctors have commented on it and express their concern over it). I also caught my heel on the screen door and had a lot of pain and a lot of blood from a 3" scratch. I was weeding the other day and grabbed a thorn bush in addition to the jewel weed I was wripping out gouging my fingers. I also touched a hot pan by accident.... And the list goes on.

Normal people can do this stuff and walk away. Me? I can end up in bed for a day or two. Sometimes I need to modify medications to reduce the chance of infection from scrapes and cuts. A good jolt from a fall and I am done from the day.

But I know I don't want that 'fall risk' label from my doctors. I try to be vague about it when discussing 'klutzy' incidents - except with my orthopedic surgeon because he allows me to blame my knees that like to give way whenever they want. (If you become a 'fall risk' you aren't allowed to go pee without supervision.)

So my klutziness is another chronic ailment.... There is no real treatment but I will continue to live with it as long as I can.

Those Stressful People

We all have those 'stressful' people and those 'stressful' situations in our lives. And when the two combine so you have 'stressful' people amping up a 'stressful' situation, the drama can be overwhelming. Especially when you have a chronic ailment (or seven).

I have learned how to cope with this. Through avoidance.

If I am stressed because for any reason, I let me become harder to reach. (I am spilling a secret here.) I go into snooze mode. If I am having enough problems with my own emotional or physical self for whatever reason, I tend to 'miss' phone calls, texts, and emails. I don't get back to people for a few hours, days, weeks, depending on the situation.

I will check to make sure there aren't any real disasters or medical issues that I need to deal with, but otherwise they go into snooze mode. This is my way of lowering my stress level and allowing me to cope with my issues. Also, sometimes a quick reaction is not the best in a difficult situation.

Honestly when I am having my own issues I can't cope with yours. So please don't make me. Its not that I don't want to hear from you but sometimes I just can't even talk on the phone or send a quick text or email. I need to go into my hibernation until I can cope again.

Chronic illnesses complicate a lot of things - especially relationships. But please don't blame me if I can't cope with your situations and drama right away.

Vacation

I haven't blogged much because I was on a two week vacation in Vermont with my entire family - including four much loved but very active teenage nieces and nephews. I ended up doing more than I should. I didn't have enough down time by myself - I think I am too accustomed to my quiet time during the day. Our bedroom was on the main floor (=no stairs) but was right off the main living room (=not as quiet or private as I am used to).

While we were there I did manage to do things - go for walks, play mini golf, go out to restaurants, do a little shopping and more. It also meant I stayed behind with my mother when the rest of the family was doing more energetic things - zip lines, mountain roller coasters, etc. I also got to float around in a beautiful lake a couple of times.

By the end of the two weeks I felt relaxed. I really missed our bed which is one of those which you can raise and lower the head and foot. I think I watch too much TV because I also really missed watching recorded shows so I could skip the commercials.

The one problem on our trip was that my husband came home for a couple days to go to work and the exhaust decided to separate from the car. He did get it fixed and came home a day later than planned. However a second portion of the exhaust decided to 'fail'. Luckily my brother used to be a mechanic and finagled a repair with a coat hanger and it happened on Thursday night so I could call and make an appointment for this morning. This means we are down to one car for a day or two - so I have to get up and drive my husband to work.

Another problem when we arrived home and I was seriously looking forward to some horizontal time to catch up on our DVRd shows. No cable, no wifi. A technician came out yesterday and found that the fiber we were connected to in the fiber optic cable failed last week. But she was able to fix it and life was restored to normal.

It was a nice to be away but I am so glad to be home and I can rest for a few days (between going to the gym and three doctor appointments this week) to recover from all my adventures.

Dont Wait For Me

There are many activities available in which I can no longer participate. Most of the time I am fine with that. There are things that I am still able to do - mini golf, for example. I'm a decent player and my husband and I have a running battle on who wins the games (usually him).

But with all the other activities available in life, don't wait for me. I'm not going bungee jumping, mountain climbing, segway riding, etc. I will keep my feet firmly planted on the ground and the rest of my body will appreciate it.

I realize people are polite and want to include everyone in the group into their activities but I do want other people to enjoy doing the things I can't do. I am often happy to sit on the side lines, take pictures, and enjoy their fun.

Maybe in the past I would have been more active but that's okay. I need to conserve my energy and make my choices so as not to cause myself problems or end up resting for three days to recover. I also don't handle stress well either and won't be sitting around 'discussing' topics that don't interest me.

However, just because I may not be active, doesn't mean I should be ignored. I may move slower, rest more, and sit around but I am still a person who deserves as much respect as others. I have noticed that people most often interact with high energy others. But us low energy people have things to say too.

My Stupid Knee

Back in 2001, I had a wonderful day of skiing that was spoiled by a stupid mogul. I fell. Some guy stopped and said "are you okay? My friend is going for the ski patrol." My reply was "I'm okay, I don't need the ski patrol." He insisted. I said "fine, you can help me untangle my skis." I stood up and my knee bent sideways and that was that.

After a business trip to Japan I had knee surgery to repair my meniscus and was told 'come back if it ever locks up'. It did start locking up and after a year of trying all sorts of PT, I ended up having another surgery to repair my meniscus last fall.

Then after my 'unfortunate' event the other day, my knee locked up this morning. Not as badly as it was before but this is not good. My debate - do I call my doctor now or wait until I see him in October or wait until I am next at the gym and talk to the physical therapist?

I am seriously bummed. Its not an option for more knee surgery on the meniscus in this knee. Its a question of stability. Nothing more. And a knee that likes to lock up is a bad thing. @$%#*($^^&@#^$.